Lynch Laughter

Final Garden Design

2011-03-15T19:31:00.002-05:00

I've been working on a garden design for a few weeks now, and I've finally completed it! I love our garden, and I am super excited to start planting! We actually have quite a bit of work to do before we're ready to plant, so we'll get started this weekend. We have two compost bins that Josh built. One has turned into gorgeous dirt, so I'll spread it over the ground with some additional fertilizer before Josh tills everything up. Once it's emptied, we'll start using that one, and let the other one compost away in peace. It'll be ready to spread before winter hopefully!

I planned the design based on past experiences, and what we love and use all the time. There are a couple of newbies in there as well.

Here is what the finished product will look like:

A) large tomatoes
B) cherry tomatoes
C) a. sugar snap peas; b. blueberries; c. blackberries
D) bush beans
E) cucumbers
F) bell peppers
G) spaghetti squash
H) a. basil; b. rosemary; c. cilantro
I) marigolds
J) spinach
K) kale
L) red leaf lettuce
M) green leaf lettuce
N) onion

The spinach, kale, and lettuce will have very spread out plantings - that way we don't end up with an entire row of everything all at once. What we don't use, I'll freeze in ziplock bags and add to my morning green smoothies (sounds gross, but you can't taste the greens even a little!)

Marigolds probably seem random, right? We garden organically, and they keep away lots of unwanted bugs. Planting them in with the veggies is called companion planting, and it's a great way to start an organic garden! You can also group together certain kinds of veggies to produce better results, both in production as well as decreased insects/disease. I'm relatively new to gardening, so I'm definitely still learning all about it! I read the other day that anyone who grows any type of plant should keep a journal. You should record things like the name of the seeds you planted, your production results, what types of problems you had, weather, etc. This way you can research solutions over the winter and hopefully avoid some of the same issues the following year. I will be starting one this year for sure!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T21:21:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year!! (from me in the middle!)

Slacking in the blogging department, but still reading all of your updates! I'll catch you back up soon!

Girls Weekend!

2010-11-08T21:11:00.009-06:00

So last weekend was an all out girl's fest. It was my cousin's 30th birthday, and we all wanted to hang out and celebrate. Saturday morning, we did a 5K. We've all been wanting to do one for awhile, but just never really got up the nerve to do it. Although I did run some in preparation, I really didn't "train" appropriately, so it was by no means a competitive run or anything. In fact, I had a terrible nightmare a few days before the race. In my dream, I was walking/jogging and I kept trying to push myself but I just couldn't go fast no matter what I did, so people kept passing me. Then I could see the finish line, but there was no one there. So when I ran through the finish line, everyone was packing up all of their stuff. I was so late that everyone left. I was totally freaked out after that, but I toughed it out and, as it turns out, I didn't finish last at all. There were tons of walkers that finished after us (woo hoo!). It was totally satisfying, and a little addictive! I can't wait to do another one, but the next time I want to jog the entire thing!

After the 5K, I went home and cleaned up, and then we all met back up and headed to downtown Nashville. We went to The Melting Pot for supper. It's a really nice fondue restaurant that is a total blast! We all ordered martinis and had tons of fun cooking food! After that, we went to this pedestrian bridge that is all lit up at night, and just hung out and acted goofy. It's fun to do that every now and then :-)

Downtown Nashville

Me, the birthday girl, and her sister

Cooking Fun!

Dessert Time (mmmmmmmmmmm....)

Some other random stuff

GREAT News!

2010-10-20T21:06:00.003-05:00

***TMI WARNING***

Okay, okay...so I know that in the last post I mentioned Josh wanted me to go quiet about our fertility stuff, but I did get his permission to blog about the HSG, because there was just SO much I wanted to tell!

So my appointment was Wednesday afternoon, and let me tell you, I had been dreading it. The procedure was scheduled for 1:15, but they told me to be there an hour early. I got there, filled out some paperwork, and then waited the entire hour before I went back (of course). Once I got back there, they took my blood pressure and temperature, and then gave me a pregnancy test, just to be sure I wasn't pregnant. After that they had me get dressed in a hospital gown, hair cover thingy, and thick socks. Then they put in an IV. They didn't have it hooked up to anything, but it was just in case. I had this fantastic nurse named Darren that sat with me. He was hilarious and had me totally cracking up! They rolled me back to a giant room that had tons of oversized machines and then pulled one of them over to the bed, so that it covered my belly. There were two good-sized screens to the right of me, and the doctor came in and explained that she would be watching the screens and I could watch, too, if I wanted to see what was going on. Then she casually said, "Most people are far too uncomfortable to watch, so if you don't, then we can just look after..."

?!?!?!?!?!

She told me it would be super intense for a couple of minutes, and my already freaked out self did not like that news at all. So she gets started and then says, "I'm going to insert the catheter into your cervix, and you'll feel some pain." So I braced myself, and I literally did not feel anything. At that point I was super excited because I thought that meant I would be one of those people that is totally comfortable and has minimal cramping! I totally relax, and then right before the dye went in Darren (the nurse) grabbed one hand, and the hot radiologist grabbed my other hand. I was kindof joking with them about how unnecessary that was and then she pushed the dye in.

Oh. My. Effing. GOSH.

I literally thought I was going to pass out. My back involuntarily arched up, every single muscle in my body clenched, and all I wanted to do was pull me knees up but of course I couldn't. I could hear Darren and the radiologist encouraging me that I was doing great, and that it wouldn't be much longer, but honestly, it was all sortof just in the background. It was literally the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. During the intense part, I heard her say, "I can't see her right tube at all" and my heart just totally sank. Then I heard her tell me to roll my hips to the right, but I literally couldn't. I was in so much pain that I didn't know what side she wanted me to roll to so I just didn't move. Finally she grabbed my hip, and when I felt her hand I was able to shift. As soon as I did, she said, "There it is! Perfect!" and then it was over. Literally, the very second that she stopped I was totally back to normal and I looked over my head and Darren and the radiologist and apologized for any crushed bones and we all laughed. They said that I actually did better than lots of women. Apparently, some people scream and cry, too (and believe me, I wouldn't judge them!). So the great news is - EVERYTHING IS PERFECT! She said my tubes and uterus were "Textbook"! Funny side note, the dye they use on the x-rays is clear, but there is a lot of it. They told me to bring a pad, but when I initially stepped off the bed to grab my bag of clothes, I totally leaked a puddle of it. Fun times. I actually ended up leaking for the rest of the day, too, but just small amounts.

I'm so very relieved. Hormonal issues are so much easier to resolve than blocked tubes, and I just didn't want to have to deal with anything else. So, now that we're actually getting closer to the real stuff, I will have to be quiet about everything, but hopefully we won't have to wait too much longer for Little Lynch!

News, News, News

2010-10-19T20:10:00.002-05:00

So in the last post I announced that I had scheduled my HSG. I did, but there were some cycle issues and I ended up having to push it back. I didn't push it back far, but I haven't had the procedure quite yet. Anyway, we've reached a point where Josh has asked me to stay "quiet" about where we are at with the whole baby thing, and obviously I respect his decision (although I think it sucks, haha) so for now, no updates on specific dates or times :-( Even though I can't be specific about what is going on and when, rest assured you will absolutely be getting updates about our doctor issue, and what I'm doing to handle that. I believe that my HSG will be with a different doctor, so I'm hoping all turns out well.

In other news, I GOT A NEW CAR!!! I am sooooo SUPER excited! I have quite a commute to work - an hour both ways - and so it's really nice to be in a car that totally rocks. It's a 2010 Altima with black leather interior and a sunroof. I actually haven't taken real pictures yet (just a few with my phone) but I'll do that this week and post them for all to see.

I'm missing all my bloggy friends. I have some catching up to do this week!

HSG SCHEDULED!!!!!

2010-10-04T19:15:00.002-05:00

I made a HUGE, giant leap today - I scheduled my HSG. Go ahead, you can clap a little :-)

For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a procedure where a catheter is placed through your cervix and a dye is used to fill your uterus and fallopian tubes, all while being x-rayed. Ideally, the dye should flow through the tubes completely, where your body just reabsorbs it. If the dye pools up anywhere, it indicates a blockage, which could be a good reason that pregnancy isn't happening.

Honestly, I can't believe I've waited so very long to do it. I just thought I would love my RE, and everything would flow smoothly from there. When that didn't happen, I was a little bit scared to go back right away. A friend of mine mentioned that I was essentially giving the doctor total control over my fertility, and that regardless of what I thought of the doctor, I needed to go back and take charge if I wanted a baby. She's completely right...but it took me awhile to take her advice. So I'll be real, I'm still really, really freaked out and nervous to go back. I just had such a negative experience the first time, that I'm worried this next time will be just as bad. But I'm putting on my big girl panties and toughing it out!

HSG is scheduled next Friday - October 15th! Fingers crossed that I'm all clear!

Feeling Better...and PUMPKIN!!!!

2010-09-12T18:10:00.004-05:00

After that terribly depressing previous entry, I must say that I'm feeling much more chipper. I should've mentioned that I was sick ALL last week, and that today is the first morning I woke up and didn't feel like I needed to immediately take some medicine. I've been battling a stuffy nose, sore throat, and lots of coughing since last Monday, and I rarely get sick, so I'm a total baby when I do. Being sick makes me irritated and emotional, and that produces blog posts that are not quite full of sunshine :-)

Today has actually been the perfect day to recover, too. I've had the house to myself today, so I went to church this morning, came home and took a nap, read a book for a bit, took a bubble bath, had a nice big glass (okay, okay, two glasses) of wine, and now I'm watching a Lifetime movie and catching up on some blogs. Sundays totally rock!

I think this week I'm going to start getting some fall decorations out and really cleaning the house over so I can decorate! I am SO ready for fall. This time of the year is my second favorite (Christmas is first - OF COURSE!) for decorating. Plus it's so simple. Some dried branches, fake leaves, pumpkins - super easy and inexpensive! Speaking of pumpkin...I've been craving some pumpkin ALL week. I don't know if it's just the cooler weather moving in, but I need some pumpkin. There is a fall smoothie that I absolutely love, and today I went to the store to buy some pumpkin, but no one has it out yet. I was so disappointed. I guess I'll just have to keep harassing them until they decide to put it out. Obviously I totally understand the reason for not having real pumpkins out yet, but there is NO reason to hoard all of the canned pumpkin, too!

So this is totally random, but I've been reading about the plastic lining in canned foods. Apparently, it's one of the largest contributors of BPA in our bodies. Last year I started using less plastic and more glass to store things, but I honestly hadn't even thought about canned foods. The good thing is that I don't use canned foods very much at all. Still, I'm trying to use them even less. So having said that, I think this year I am going to buy a few pumpkins, and actually make fresh puree. It's time consuming (which is why I've never done it before) but since pumpkin is seasonal and I don't eat it daily, some puree would last me over until pumpkin season next year. My plan is to store it in the mini Mason jars in my freezer, that way I can enjoy it in the occasional smoothie or mixed in with yogurt year round!

Hello? Anybody Out There?

2010-09-09T20:42:00.002-05:00

I'm still alive, promise! I find that I go through "seasons" of blogging, at least for now. Anyone who knows me personally knows that my life is an open book, but sometimes, I find that although the pages keep turning, there isn't much to write about. I'm a married gal with no kids and a job - so I work, hang out with the hubby, and that's about it. Haha. See - told you there isn't much to write about.

I'm also having a really hard time finding the balance of what to write. When I decided to transition from my "infertility" blog to more of a family blog (that included updates on Josh, vacations, etc) I vowed that I would keep fertility talk to a minimum. I'm finding, however, that trying to get pregnant consumes every single part of my life, so it's virtually impossible to tell you about me without mentioning it. And I want to mention it. Let's be honest, to anyone that hasn't gone through infertility, it's just impossible to understand that kind of emotional roller coaster. Telling people about it face to face seems awkward, more for them than me, because they don't know how to react. That shocked expression makes me want to not share, and I end up with all of these thoughts that have nowhere no go! Enter my blog. It's so nice to be able to write everything down, and not have to witness someone's reaction when they read it! To be honest and uninhibited is completely satisfying and liberating, and it seems to take some of the burden off of me. I know some of you have been where I'm at now, and really get me. So even though I may not know you, I know you, and I feel a kindred spirit, that can hold my hand and totally understand.

I seem to have been sitting in a little bit of a baby funk lately. Sometimes trying to get pregnant seems like trying to climb a mountain (and I'm scared of heights...). Last year I wrote a birthday post about shopping for baby stuff. I just knew without a shadow of a doubt that we would be pregnant. Now, in the blink of an eye, I'm a month away from my 27th birthday, and still not expecting. We recently had some friends over and one of them said, "Well if it never happens..."....those are words that I don't want to think about, and honestly don't believe, but it's the first time someone has actually said them. And it didn't even take me by surprise really, because I feel like that with every passing day. In the back of my mind, I can say we'll be pregnant "someday" but the years just sail by and we're still not. I'm really trying to keep the faith, but I would be lying if I said I haven't had my fair share of doubting. In fact, when people first found out we were having trouble, and would offer to pray with me, I would really feel moved. Each time my faith was strengthened and my spirit renewed! The last time that someone prayed with me over a pregnancy was at a women's conference last November. I sat in the middle of a group of women that barely knew me, but cried over me, and I felt nothing. Obviously I was thankful for their compassion and their willingness to try and share my burden, but I sat in the middle of them with no emotion whatsoever. I don't want to be the girl with the hard heart, but it just is. I'm not trying to be bitter, or negative, but I just am.

My biological clock is not just ticking, it's ringing so loudly that I can't focus on anything else at all. Has anyone else been there? Am I seriously the only person that's having trouble dealing?

Sorry to be all whiny and mopey. I'm really not dreadfully sad or anything, but just needed to vent to some friends.

Vegas Baby!!!

2010-07-25T16:23:00.015-05:00

That's right folks. We had an eventful weekend in Vegas, and got back a week ago today. I was a Vegas virgin - and I must say, I was overwhelmed with everything going on!!! It really is the city that never sleeps!

We flew in on Thursday, and had a little bit of a bad experience at the airport where we left. Right after we checked in we were told that our flight was delayed, and that we might miss our connection. About half an hour later, it was confirmed that we would definitely miss our connection. The only thing that they could do was offer us a non-stop flight that flew out at 7:20 PM. Our original flight was at 4, and we got to the airport 2 hours early. SO, we had like 4ish hours to wander around before we left. We spent a couple hours at Tootsie's listening to some live music, then we just went to our gate and read for awhile. We were kindof tired when we got there, but our hotel was AMAZING! Right when we walked in, we saw a walkway of "flower trees". They were lit up, and had these massive balls of flowers that smelled heavenly! I couldn't really get the size of the flowers to show in the picture, but here's what it looked like.

We made it to our fantastic room, and had a little glass of bubbly to start off the vacation! :-)

Friday, we went sight seeing! Everything was soooo beautiful, and we wanted to see so much, but it was about 115 degrees (very literally) so we just stayed close to the hotel. We got to see the Venetian, which was just gorgeous!

This one was looking out over Vegas:

This was a picture of the gondolas that they had. There was a little river running through the hotel, and the men who took you on the ride sang in the most beautiful voices! We wanted to do one of these, but the wait was FOREVER, so we settled on listening to the singing from the balcony.

This was the inside of the hotel. I swear, it literally felt like a stroll through Venice. It was by far my favorite hotel that we saw!

Once we got through the Venetian, I spotted something in the distance, and my jaw literally dropped!

They have a Serendipity in Vegas! I thought the only one was in New York, so I was just SUPER excited to get to try the famous frozen hot chocolate!

Let me tell you, it was just as good as I anticipated it would be!

That night, we went to see Garth Brooks (which was the entire reason we went to Vegas). He was fantastic! Trisha Yearwood actually came out and sang a couple of songs, too! If you're a fan of country, I would HIGHLY recommend this show!!!!

Saturday, we literally spent the entire day at the pool. There was a built in ledge all the way around the pool, so we sat up to our necks for HOURS. It just felt like the only relief from the heat! It was nice to relax, though, and there were waitresses that kept us well hydrated the entire day. Well....at least with Mojitos and Mai Tais, ha!

Saturday night we decided to see another show, so we chose Blue Man Group. Again, excellant choice!! We just loved the total sensory experience! I initially went in thinking that it was more a talent show, but it was very interactive all the way through, and at times I was laughing so hard that my face hurt! After the show, we got a little gelato, and then headed back in for the night. We ended up getting back to the hotel and in bed about 2AM, and then had to get up at 5ish to make our flight. We were totally exhausted and crashed on the plane!

It was a total blast, and I can't wait to go back again!!!!

Birthday Fun!!!

2010-07-10T18:56:00.003-05:00

July 3rd was my precious nephew's first birthday. My brother is a single daddy, and he asked me to help him plan the party. Of course I was SUPER excited! We decided to do a monkey theme, so I made these invitations (the big brown blob isn't actually on the invite, but I didn't want everyone to see details of where we're at)I made a "vine" across the top that the wooden monkey swings on:

Here are the monkey cupcakes, which were a HUGE hit!

These are the favor bags we did. I just painted his initial on the front, and they had monkey cups, bubbles, monkey tattoos, and coloring books/crayons inside:

We had the party at a local park, so there was plenty of room to play for the kiddos that came. Here are some pics from the day.

Everyone had a really good time, and Aiden stocked up on toys, clothes, and lots of other goodies! I absolutely can't WAIT to be able to plan birthday parties for our little ones one of these days, but until then, this is super fun! :-)

Picture-Pa-Looza!

2010-06-19T20:46:00.012-05:00

We've done some fun things over the last couple of months - but I've been a bit of a slacker and haven't pulled any of the pictures from our camera! So here's some delayed pictures - just for your entertainment :-)

In May, we went to San Antonio, TX for a work conference. Lots of fun stuff going on there!

We saw Dana Carvey (think Church Lady from SNL!)

and ZZ Top!

Saw some dueling pianos at O'Briens

The Alamo

We also visited Fall Creek Falls with Josh's family, and had a wonderful and relaxing weekend!

This picture makes me laugh - Josh got splashed in the face right as I was taking it

The best thing about vacations is the chill time!

We did have some fun hiking, too!

There ya have it! A little bit of everything!

Random Thoughts

2010-06-15T20:10:00.003-05:00

I've been meaning to write for a few weeks now, but just haven't sat down to actually do it. Part of the reason is because I have a ton of random thoughts, and I can't seem to organize them into anything logical. Here's my attempt at emptying my head.

I've been thinking a lot about people. I really, really wish that I knew people's motives. Especially at work, but just in general. I think any time that you've known someone for awhile, when their personality changes, you naturally doubt that change. But as a Christian, I believe firmly in change, so that's a struggle for me. On that same note, 7 years ago I was unrecognizable. I sat in a dark place, and I lied...A LOT...to the people I loved, and I was mean and hateful, and I wasn't really concerned with what people thought of me. Had someone met me in the short time I lived that way (roughly a year) they would have had a very incorrect perception. And I don't think there would have been a way to explain the devastating events that lead me to that point, and I honestly don't think it would have made a difference. Actions have always spoken louder than words. But I'm not that person. I wasn't before, and I haven't been for awhile. So for me, it's easier to let my guard down and believe the very best, because I've been there, and it honestly took years to rebuild some of the bridges that I burned. There again though, at what point do you stop wading cautiously? That's what I'm trying to figure out.

I thought I would feel more optimistic after our fertility appointment. I thought that somehow that feeling of sheer desperation would leave, and I would only be eager, but not desperate. That happened after our appointment, but only for a brief time. I find myself fighting away the green monster of jealously every single time I see a pregnant belly, or see a baby. I don't want to be that bitter woman. I want to be the woman that trusts in God's plan for my life, and walks where He leads me without question. I'm striving to be that woman...but am I showing that to others? Or do they only see the hopelessness I can't seem to shake? I hope my faith still shines through, even in this valley that I can't crawl out of. I hope that my journey somehow encourages others - not just when I get to celebrate that my prayers have been answered - but also while I'm waiting.

I'm absolutely heartbroken over this stupid oil spill. Regardless of what side of the fence people are sitting on, I think everyone is sad. Obviously I'm sure there is so much more than I know, but I will say this. If I had any say so at all, I would spend every single waking moment trying to find a solution. I can't help but think of all of these poor animals suffering...and somehow I feel like it's a result of "our" selfishness. Shame on us.

I am totally in love with Lara Bars. They literally have like 3 ingredients, and no preservatives/chemicals whatsoever. Plus they are $1 and easy to find at Kroger. They rock my world.

My brother asked me to help him plan my nephew's first birthday party. I am SO excited about this! We're doing a monkey theme, and I've been designing invitations all night! Hopefully I'll be able to post some pictures of them this week!

Whew. I think that's about it. Everything I've been thinking of, thrown out there, just as it sits in my head all day. Maybe now I can pick up with something logical!

Time to Reflect

2010-06-02T19:13:00.002-05:00

This last week has provided me some much needed time to reflect on our fertility adventure. I'm actually feeling quite a bit better about everything. I talked to Josh about the doctor, and how much I disliked him, but surprisingly, Josh thought he was fine. When I think about it - his personality seems very much like Josh's personality - analytical, straight-forward, detail oriented - so that is probably why they clicked. The thing is, Josh isn't really like that with me (I could never live with that ALL the time...) as much as he is with his work, but we were seeing Dr.Stonewall at his work, which would obviously be the time that part of his personality came into play. If this was my normal OB/GYN, and I knew that the "click" piece was important, I would absolutely look for someone else. But it's not. I won't be going to him for the rest of my life, only a few months to a couple of years max. I know he has a good track record, so I've just decided to deal with him. I still do hope that he was having a bad day, and that in our next visit he is not so much of an insensitive jerk, but even if he is, I doubt we'll change anything - especially since Josh likes him. I think it would be a different story if neither of us felt comfortable there.

I'm more excited than ever to get everything started, but unfortunately there is some waiting. They would like for me to schedule my HSG between days 5-11 of my cycle. Last month was a mess, and I really didn't know if I had a really short cycle before, or if I was just having some in-between spotting. I decided just in case to wait until my next cycle, at which point I'll know for sure where I'm at. I've also got to schedule some bloodwork at some point, too. Even after that, I'll still have to wait an entire cycle to start anything (provided the results of those come back the way they want...) so it's looking like it's going to be August/September before we really get going. I know this is premature - but I'm so worried that I'll have to go through another holiday season without a pregnancy announcement. It's hard year round, but Thanksgiving and Christmas are especially tough on me - I think they are tough on my family, too. My parents are very in the loop with what's going on, and I think they tend to be as hopeful as me, so I know they can't wait to start buying stuff for another grandbaby.

I'm really excited about this weekend - I'm having a much needed girls night on Friday with my cousins. We try to do one every few months, but this year has been busy for everyone, so we haven't had one yet. It'll be fun to watch a chick flick and talk about what's been going on!! I'm really looking forward to some fun and relaxation! :-)

Updates and THE Appointment!

2010-05-24T21:02:00.002-05:00

Talk about a hectic couple of weeks! I've been busy, busy, busy, and May has absolutely FLOWN by. Josh had a work conference in San Antonio a couple of weeks ago, so I decided to tag along. It was a blast! It's absolutely beautiful there, but I would NOT want to live there under any circumstances. Being from Tennessee, I'm pretty used to hot and humid. Texas was a whole different kind of hot and humid though. I seriously took 2-3 showers a day! We did some cool stuff - saw the Alamo, went to some antique shops, enjoyed dueling pianos at the famous Pat O'Briens, and took a tour on the Riverwalk.

We were in town a week, then the following weekend (which was this last Friday-Sunday) we went to Fall Creek Falls with Josh's family. I've never been before, but it was breathtaking! My sister-in-law and father-in-law got some really great pictures, and once I get copies, I'll post some. We were able to row out to the middle of a lake and fish, hike down to some beautiful waterfalls, and actually slide down some little waterfalls and swim around in the pool underneath. It was a great way to relax, and get my mind off of today.

Yep, that's right. Today was THE appointment! Originally, we were supposed to have our first RE appointment last Monday, but I had to postpone due to it being the wrong time in my cycle. The appointment was okay...just okay. We got there, and immediately they gave us armbands with our names/birthdates. These were checked by each person that saw us. The receptionist explained that every time either of us comes in, we will get a bracelet to wear. I know it's silly, but I thought it was really kinda cool, haha. Then we got ushered back to a little conference room, and the nurse came and got me to do all of my vitals. She took my blood pressure and asked if I was nervous. I told her my heart felt like it was going to explode, and she said it wasn't uncommon, and agreed to take it at the end of the appointment, haha. So I went back into the room with Josh, and then in came Dr.Stonewall. That's not actually his name, but that's what I am calling him, because of his complete lack of emotion or emotional support. You know how some people just click. Well, me and this doctor did not click....at all. I never once had a moment where I felt at ease with him. He was going over my history, and when we got into some very personal, and embarrassing questions, even despite my turning bright red, he never once said anything comforting. He sat there, without even cracking a smile, and just stared as if it was no big deal. And I know it wasn't a big deal to him, but it was a very big deal to me. It's taken me years (literally) to make this appointment, and for him to not show any type of acknowledgement to that really turned me off right away. Needless to say, I was so uncomfortable after the questioning, that I almost turned down the physical exam. I kept my cool though, and after the questioning, they took us into an exam room and did what I assume is the standard exam. I got a pelvic exam and then a ultrasound to look at my ovaries and uterus. He did do a really good job of explaining to us what he was looking at as he was looking at it, which I appreciated. He did say one interesting thing. For a long time, I've thought I haven't been ovulating based on BBT charts and OPKs, but he said he could see some good eggs, and he thought that I probably had been ovulating. He wants me to do an HSG in the next couple of weeks to make sure that both tubes are open. After the exam was over and I got dressed, we went back into the room and he went over some information about next steps. He said he would recommend injectables since we've already done the Clomid thing. It'll be a couple of cycles before we start anything though, since there is some other stuff they want to test for and get out of the way. We've waited 4 years though, so a few more months won't kill us.

Even though he seemed optimistic about getting us pregnant, I cried the entire way home. I dislike him SO much. I'm sortof in a bad position though, because they are really the only close fertility center. I could request to see another doctor in the practice, but I'm scared to be labeled the "difficult" patient, and then potentially treated differently. I know his success rates are good, so I may just tough it out. We shall see....

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T20:53:00.003-05:00

This could quite possibly be the most dreaded day for infertiles, seriously. I've certainly been dreading it....

This morning started off rough anyway. Josh and I were fussing over some totally random, and stupid stuff, not to mention I'm just a bit more emotional this time of the month. So getting in the truck to drive to church, I was already on the verge of tears. Once we got in the service, during the singing, in between songs, someone mentioned how blessed she was on this Mother's Day, and I had a total meltdown. I escaped quickly into the bathroom and had a really good cry. I felt better after that, but then our pastor (my father-in-law) read the most beautiful story about why a mother loves her child, which drew the comparison between why God loves us so much. It really was a wonderful story, but the answer to the question was for no other reason than that the child is hers, and is her. Queue the water works again, haha. I survived though, and then had a really, really wonderful rest of the day with Josh's family. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws that I just adore. We are celebrating with my mom next weekend, and I'm so excited! I can't wait to have her over for a wonderfully long visit :)

I think Mother's Day is a totally awesome holiday, and I'm a firm believer in honoring mothers out there, because I feel than many of them don't ever get the true recognition that they deserve. Having said that, for me, it feels like an exclusive club that I can't be a part of. It made me feel so....defeated. It also reaffirmed my decision to tough it out an see our RE though, so that was definitely a good thing. I am stepping out in faith here, and believing that next Mother's Day, I will either be pregnant, or holding my very own baby!!! Although I may feel defeated at times, I know that I am absolutely not.

In other news, we are heading out to San Antonio tomorrow. Josh has a work conference, and I'm tagging along. It's always a pretty fun conference with lots of stuff to do, and they've announced that ZZ Top will be performing, so I'm a little excited about that, haha. I have a thing for classic rock! Hopefully we'll get to explore a little, too, and see the Alamo and the Riverwalk. I'm sure I'll be able to report back with lots of pictures when we return!!!

Should I? Shouldn't I?

2010-05-07T19:25:00.002-05:00

Every single day, for several hours out of the day, this question plagues my thoughts. I said a few posts ago that we finally made an appointment with Nashville Fertility. It's right around the corner, and I am more scared and nervous then I've ever been about anything in my entire life. So much so, that every single day I have to talk myself into not cancelling the appointment. I think I'm totally a freak of nature - no one else seems to think going to the RE is a bad thing. And I don't either really. At the end of the day, it puts us one step closer to having a baby! But even that hasn't been comforting to me. What if the doctor tells us that something major is wrong that can't be fixed? What if he tells us we can't have a baby? What if he makes me feel bad or embarrassed? What if we don't "click"? I just have so many questions running through my mind....

Ever since making the appointment, I've been a little sad, too. I feel like I'm admitting defeat in a way. Admitting that I'm broken and can't do what I should be able to do. I always dreamt of conceiving my baby in a sweet, intimate moment with Josh, in the privacy of our home; instead, I'm putting that dream in the hands of a total stranger, hoping he can help us conceive. I think maybe that whole lack of control is what is making me so uneasy. For so long now, I've been in control. I no longer get hopeful each month, I rarely test, and when I do and it's negative, it's not a big deal because I am never prepared for it to be anything else. But now, now I feel like I'm fighting against being hopeful again. I don't want to be vulnerable to that emotion, but it's impossible not to be when visiting someone whose sole purpose is to make me pregnant. I'm scared to go through a month of treatment, just to find out it didn't work. And I'm scared to expose Josh to that. I feel like I've sortof been "protecting" him from all of this for so long, because I try not to be so let down in front of him. But now, since he'll be at the doctor with me, and involved, I know he will be vulnerable to that hurt, too.

Having said all of that, one of these days when I'm rocking my precious baby to sleep, I know that all of this pain, and wishing, and hoping - it will all be worth it. And I think that is what pushes me to go forward, no matter how scared I may be of the unknown.

Lord, I pray that you would cover us in peace, in the midst of all of this anxiety. Give us wisdom to make wise decisions, and be there to shower us in comfort if/when the time comes....

Not Enough Time In the Day...

2010-04-20T20:33:00.002-05:00

I know it's part of being an adult - but it sucks. I don't ever seem to have enough time in the day to get everything done that I need or want to do. There are the obvious things of course - cleaning, laundry, dishes - but lately, I've been really just missing friends. Even though I haven't been by myself, and I'm surrounded by people all day, I've been feeling sortof...well, lonely I guess. And let me clarify, I love spending time with Josh, but he's really not a substitute for a girlfriend. I remember when I had virtually no responsibility at all, and I could just spend hours a day with my friends, either hanging out, or talking on the phone, or e-mailing, and now, schedules have to align, husbands and children have to be tended to, supper has to be cooked. Even when I do get together with my closest friends, it involves those things above. And that's not a bad thing of course. I love the chaos of kids running around, but every now and then, I just want to be selfish, sit in a quiet place, and have a good, heartfelt conversation about everything, or nothing at all. Do you know what I mean? Just take a break from "life" - even just for an hour, and be together with those people who are just dear to me. It's good for the soul.

It also seems harder and harder to hang on to a big group of friends, which I hate. I have so many people that are special to me for one reason or another, but because it's so hard to find time during the week, when it's available, it seems like I have to pick and choose who to spend it with, which doesn't feel fair. I swear, sometimes it feels like I'm booked 4 weeks in advance!!

There's gotta be some balance somewhere. I'm determined to find it....

Baby Shower!

2010-04-17T17:00:00.006-05:00

For the last few months, it seems like everyone we know has either announced a pregnancy or has had a baby!! That includes my family. Today we had a baby shower for my little cousin Shelly. She's not "little" of course, but I guess I still see her that way. When I was growing up, I had a group of cousins - there were 8 of us - that were all around the same age, and all grew up together. Then there were the "little cousins", as we called them. I think there's like a 5 year age difference between the youngest of us and the oldest of them, hence the name. Anyway, they are older now, several are married, and a couple have babies.

We had the shower at my Nanie's house, with lots of family and friends! Here are a few photos from the day!

My cousin Terra and my sweet Nanie

My bestie Jennifer, and Terra

Mom-to-be, Shelly

Wordless Wednesday - Huckleberry!

2010-04-14T21:24:00.003-05:00

What a sweet way to spend the days!

Weekend Fun

2010-04-13T08:46:00.004-05:00

I had big plans for this past weekend. I was planning on getting the house super clean, cleaning out my car, planting the garden, and maybe planting some flowers on the front porch. Guess how much of that happened? Yeah, none. That's okay though. I did get some cleaning done, and we had a sweet little visitor Saturday night. We ended up baby-sitting our niece Eva - perhaps I should say that Josh ended up baby-sitting her. He wouldn't let me hold her all night, and she was just fine with that. She loves her Uncle Josh.

Isn't she darling?! You can see the little scratch on her nose in the first picture; a few days ago she decided to nose dive off of the couch. Ouch.

Sunday after church we went to Josh's parents house. His sister Hannah is in town, and since she is an esthetician, I took advantage of it and had her wax my legs :-)

We ended up hanging out till 5ish, and then by the time we got home it was time to eat and chill out. Even though we didn't get anything accomplished around the house, we had lots of fun with family!!! Those weekends are the BEST!

Change is A'Comin!

2010-04-07T21:59:00.003-05:00

As most of you know, Josh and I have been trying to get pregnant for awhile now. And when I say awhile, what I really mean is that we've now been trying for three years and seven months. Ouch.

We did Clomid for awhile, but we haven't done anything since in the way of fertility treatment. We've also never seen an RE (reproductive endocrinologist, lengthy word for fertility doc) because our OB was able to prescribe and monitor us through the Clomid. My OB has been trying to talk me into an RE visit for a couple of years now, but I just wasn't ready. I'm not sure why...we just weren't. It never really seemed like the "right" time to go. But, drumroll please, now it does :-)

We've scheduled our first RE appointment for May 17th (cue HUGE sigh of relief). I feel like that's such a big weight off and I can absolutely NOT wait to go over some options!!! I've said it before and I'll say it again - I totally feel like this is the year we'll have a positive test, and this is just one step closer.

COUNTDOWN ON FOR LITTLE LYNCH!!!!!!!

Spring Has Sprung!

2010-04-03T21:55:00.006-05:00

Today started our very first preparations for this year's veggie garden! YAY! It's been absolutely lovely the last couple of weeks, and although we woke up to rain this morning, by early afternoon it was bright and warm. I still haven't completely finalized the garden plans yet, as I'm still making some last minute decisions on what to plant, but we decided to go ahead and till everything up. Next weekend we'll plant the first round.

It's nice to have one season of gardening under our belts. Last year was our very first attempt, and I think it was successful, but we definitely learned some things, too. Most importantly, what not to grow, haha. Call me crazy, but I'd almost be willing to bet that any type of organic broccoli you buy in the store is grown inside in some type of greenhouse. That will definitely not be gracing our backyard. Not only is it time consuming, but it is the perfect habitat for all types of bugs and their eggs. We didn't get much broccoli last year, but when Josh picked what we had, he brought it into the kitchen and laid it on the kitchen counter next to the sink to wash. I glanced at it, and noticed little white things nearby (we have dark granite countertops) and when I went to investigate, to my absolute horror, I discovered white worms. Now I'm not completely stupid - obviously there will be bugs in a garden. Worms don't even freak me out (in fact, we're probably entertaining hundreds in the compost bins) but worms inside food, hiding where no one can see or wash - THAT freaks me out. I was done. No broccoli for me. Josh immersed them in water, and more worm babies floated out, and then when they'd been in there awhile, he ate the broccoli. I couldn't even watch.

Since we have the extra space, I'm going to try to grow some loose lettuces this year. That should be interesting. I think I'm also going to get a summer strawberry variety, and try to grow it in a container on the pack patio. It's a full sun spot, and it would keep the berries off the ground. We love strawberries, so if this works out, it will for sure be a staple for years to come.

In other news, our peach tree survived!!!! We planted a very baby peach tree last year, and I was concerned it wouldn't survive since we had a really rough few ice visits. The tree was covered in ice and quite droopy on more than one occasion. When I went outside this morning though, I discovered this.

And can I just say, these blooms are absolutely gorgeous!!

Obviously it's too young to produce, but it's so much stronger now that I have no doubt it will just continue to grow. And hopefully in a few years, we will be able to pull some fresh peaches off to enjoy :-)

I'll leave you with a few pictures of sweet Farmer Josh!

Stuck

2010-03-13T20:38:00.002-06:00

We're still here, promise :-)

I've realized that sometimes it's hard to blog with just the two of us, because we really don't have much to blog about! Someone asked me today what we had been up to, and it was the same answer that it always is - oh you know, just working! Haha. That's about all. Josh's work is crazy busy all of the time, which is wonderful, but as a result whenever he is at home we just want to be with each other and stay in!Which doesn't leave very interesting updates. I told someone the other day I feel like we've been hibernating in complete solitude for the winter. But you know, I've actually kindof enjoyed it. It's nice to be lazy with your best friend!

I'm looking forward to spring. Garden plans are already under way, and since we have last year's experience under our belts, I think we'll definitely be able to improve our wonderful fruits, veggies, and herbs! We also have some fun vacations planned, so I'm sure my blogging will pick up very soon!

Wedding!

2010-02-10T14:36:00.001-06:00

This weekend was quite a big weekend, with little advance notice. My sister-in-law, Hannah, has been engaged to Charlie for awhile, and they were planning a Valentine's Day wedding. Charlie is in the Air Force, and last week, received orders that he would be deploying to Turkey this past Monday (2/8). In a panic, they decided Wednesday to move the wedding up to Saturday - talk about short notice to find something to wear! Four hours after everything had been moved, the orders were reversed, and he found out he wouldn't be leaving. At that point, they decided to just keep it Saturday, just in case. The wedding was absolutely beautiful, and Hannah looked stunning. Here are some pictures from her big day!

Hannah and Josh

The flower girl, who also happens to be my sweet niece Cadence :-)

The gorgeous cake!

Hannah and Charlie

Snow!

2010-02-02T20:00:00.004-06:00

Last week we had a wonderful Tennessee surprise - TONS of snow! Since we don't see much, we always get so very excited with lots of snow, and this time was no exception. It's funny living here, because the weather can just predict snow, literally, and the schools will close in preparation. In addition, all of our stores will very quickly sell out of essentials like milk and bread. So last Thursday I kept reading about the winter storm, but wasn't really concerned because snow misses us often...very often. I didn't go to the grocery store (in fact, made fun of those who did, haha) and wasn't really prepared for anything. Well Friday about 8 AM it started snowing. It snowed and snowed and snowed. I actually have an hour long commute, so I left work about noon, and by that time it was total madness. All the state offices closed at noon, and everyone was trying to get home. Since this in TN, and we don't get "winter storms" the roads hadn't been prepped at all and were quite literally covered completely in ice. I can't even tell you how many wrecks I saw on the way home. My usual hour long commute ended up taking three and a half hours!!! It was insane, but oh so beautiful. I totally LOVE snow. It's my favorite :-) Anywhoo, once I got home I heard it was going to continue to snow all night, and of course since we didn't have any food in the house, out I go in the blizzard to Food Lion. I stocked up and headed home, and by the time I got inside I was cold and wet and ready to curl up in front of the fireplace. Here are some pictures I took during the day (notice the ICE in the middle picture!):

One of the fun things we got to do was make snow cream!! Apparantly, this is a Southern thing, so I'll leave you guys with the recipe!

1 gallon of snow
2 cups of milk
1 cup of white sugar
1 tbsp. vanilla
Mix and enjoy!!!

A Little of This, A Little of That...

2010-01-07T19:35:00.002-06:00

Well today has just been completely unproductive - in every sense of the word. Ever have those days? So in order to be at work by 7:30, I have to leave my house at 6:30, which means that I get up by 5:30 every morning. Ok, that's a lie. My alarm goes off at 5:30, but I roll out of bed around 6 usually. Well this morning, I woke up at 5:00, and instead of thinking to myself, "I could totally get up and exercise with this extra time!" I thought, "YEAH RIGHT" and went back to sleep. Not a good idea apparently. I don't even remember my alarm going off, but when I woke up it was 6:32. I jumped out of bed at lightning speed, and then realized I had no time to take a shower. So my hair went into a ponytail and I brushed my teeth and left. I felt completely skanky ALL day long.

So at work I sit in front of an entire wall of huge windows. It started snowing almost right after I got there, and since we don't get much snow at all here, everyone who got word walked over to stand at the windows and watch. Of course that leads to conversation. So between feeling gross, watching the snow, and talking to people, I didn't really get anything done at work.

So I got home tonight, and got in the shower, and stayed in there for a ridiculously long time. I was cold and the warm water felt sooooo nice. When I was good and wrinkly I got out. I had intended to clean the kitchen and do some laundry, but instead I chose to curl up in my Snuggie and read. So as you can see, very unproductive day. But I think sometimes we need those lazy days :-)

I did have a funny conversation with my Josh today. He called at work to see what was for supper. Over the course of the week, I made some Minestrone Soup and some Lentil Shepherd's Pie to accommodate my new eating healthy plan. I told him he could choose which he wanted, and then it went totally silent, followed by, "Are you mad at me?" Hahaha. So instead of opting for something healthy, we chose pizza. Ok...so that wasn't the best choice, but it sure does taste great!!!!

TSO!

2010-01-04T08:36:00.002-06:00

I said previously that Christmas is my very favorite time of the year. One of the things that I look forward to is going to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. They always stop in Nashville, and I've been to see them the last 3 years. Well they were here last night, and let me tell ya, they did NOT disappoint!

Josh and I ate at Olive Garden for dinner yesterday before the show. I love me some Olive Garden, so I was pretty stoked! We don't have one in the town we live in, so we always have to drive to it. We'd thought about eating downtown Nashville, but I'm really glad that we didn't. It was like 11 degrees, and we had to walk about a block after we parked. Although it's not that far to walk, we were absolutely frozen by the time we actually got into the show (this is TN - I'm fairly confident we were not dressed for 11 degrees...) Had we eaten downtown, no doubt we would've walked to whatever restaurant, too.

So we were actually on the floor this year, which is nice. Unfortunately, when you're 5'1 anyone that sits in front of you blocks the view. But of course it had to be a family that looked like they were 6 feet tall! Haha. Luckily, I found a spot between their heads to watch! For those of you who don't know, TSO is like an orchestra with electric guitars. They have a lights show that goes with the music, a narrator who tells a story, snow, and fire! Oh yes, LOTS of fire! If you get the chance to ever go, let me assure you that it would be well worth your money. They also give part of your ticket money to different local charities, which I think totally rocks. When they come to Nashville, they give to the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.

We got home pretty late, but it was a totally awesome night! Can't wait till next year!!!

The Aftermath

2009-12-26T19:43:00.002-06:00

Christmas is officially over, and I'm happy to say, this year was absolutely wonderful! Busy, but wonderful! We have LOTS of places to go, so we started on Christmas Eve. We went to the Lynch's family Christmas that afternoon, and got to see Josh's side of the family. It's always good to see them and we always have an absolute blast at their house! Then we went to my dad's house for dinner that night. A cousin that I hadn't seen in awhile came down from Ohio, so that was a treat! Honestly, I was dreading my dad's just a little. This past August, I really started trying to focus on getting pregnant before Christmas, so that I could tell my dad on Christmas (obviously we've been trying...I was just really pressuring myself to make it happen). I'd envisioned wrapping up an ultrasound picture and then having him open it. In fact, these last few months I even tested, which I never do anymore. I was just devastated when it didn't happen, and I was so worried that when I saw my daddy I would just break down and cry (considering my dad didn't know anything about "the plan", that would've been a long, painful explanation). Luckily, I held it together and really had a wonderful time without thinking about the negative test at all.

Christmas morning Josh and I actually exchanged gifts around 12:30 AM - haha. I was up wrapping some gifts for the next day, and we realized it was Christmas and went ahead and opened our gifts cause we didn't want to wait! I got a laptop (WOOHOO!) and some pjs and books, and Josh got a meat grinder (I know that's totally gross - but I swear it's what he wanted!) and a grill thermometer, and some clothes. We were psyched! Then yesterday morning we went to his parents house and had Christmas with all of his siblings and our nieces and nephew. It's always fun to see how excited the kids get opening their gifts :-) We rounded out the day with Christmas dinner at my mom's house with her side of the family.

And to finish out Christmas, we went to the Davenport's house today (this is Josh's other side of the family) We don't get to see them very often, and it was fun to hang out and chat with the ladies while the men did their thing in front of the big screen!

Although I'm always sad to see my favorite holiday go, I'm also excited to get back to normal and relax a little. My house currently looks like a tornado found it's way inside - we have wrapping paper and gifts and boxes everywhere. I think I'll attempt to tackle the mess tomorrow...or the day after!! As the famous Mark Twain said, "Never put off tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow."

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T19:39:00.000-06:00

A Special Day

2009-12-20T07:58:00.006-06:00

My name is Kristen and I'm a bad blogger (cue the chorus of other bad bloggers - "Hello Kristen") Towards the end of the year, especially this year, I find myself stretched so thin that it seems impossible to find even half an hour to update everyone with what has been going on. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I'll have a little more time.

So I hate to say that Josh and I have been insanely busy/gone for the majority of December. My very favorite holiday is Christmas, but this year, we just didn't do nearly as much as we normally would. I left November 30th for a work trip to Kennesaw, GA and arrived back on December 2nd. I saw Josh for just over an hour, and then he left for a huge job in San Francisco, CA, and only returned this past Friday, the 18th. TWO WHOLE WEEKS! It was terrible, and I missed him more than I can begin to tell you! In between that, last Monday I flew out to Boise, ID for work, and stayed gone another 3 days. You can see why we've had no time!! :-) We're both home now until the end of the year, so things are finally starting to resemble normal again.

Today is a very, very special day for us. Josh and I are celebrating our 7 year anniversary! I absolutely cannot believe that it's been 7 years - it seems like only yesterday I was walking down the aisle with my daddy, to see Josh staring at me like I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. I feel so very blessed to be spending my life with a man who loves the Lord, who is kind and gentle, honest and understanding, and who adores me more with each passing day. Happy anniversary my sweet love!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2009-12-11T10:06:00.000-06:00

Because her father listened to her, she knew she had something to say.
Because he believed in her, she believed in herself.
Because he said she could do anything, she did.

Happy 50th Birthday Daddy! I love you!

Closer to 30 Than 20

2009-10-24T18:05:00.003-05:00

It's official - I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20. I feel all grown up :-)

My birthday was Wednesday, and I turned 26. It was a perfectly perfect day! I always take off on my birthday (which Josh thinks is ridiculous, just for the record - haha) and this year I convinced hubby to take off with me. He got up bright and early to go get breakfast, and brought back this:

He did have a lunch meeting that he couldn't miss - it was with the mayor, so I didn't complain about it too much - and that gave me and my mommy some time together to hang out. She took me out to lunch, and then we went shopping at the local Christian bookstore for awhile. She got me a Francine Rivers book that I've really been wanting to read, Redeeming Love. It's a story based on Hosea, and I'm super excited to get started on it!!!

After supper, Josh pulled out a cake from my favorite bakery, with beautiful daisies all over it! Daisies are such happy flowers, and my absolute favorite! What a lucky gal I am to have such a sweetheart adoring me!

So, of course on my birthday, I thought about goals for this year, and I bet you can guess which one landed on top...a little Lynch!! When my mom and I were shopping I came across a line of baby clothes called "His GEM". They are adorable and all have little Bible verses attached somehow. She let me spend a good little while looking at everything in the baby section, but I kept going back to the clothes, and picking them up, and touching them, and imagining how sweet my little one would be in them. We left, but when I got home my heart was a little bit achy. So this morning, I decided to make a little purchase of faith. I went back to the store and bought a bib that I absolutely love! Why not? Even if I'm not pregnant yet, I believe this will be our year - I can just feel it!!

Here is the front. It's hard to see in the picture but it says "His Little Lamb":

Here is the back:

I'm so thankful for another marvelous year with many warm and wonderful memories!

It's About That Time!

2009-10-15T18:53:00.000-05:00

Fall is soooo my favorite season of the year! I love the fall colors, all the smells of fall (damp leaves, fires, cinnamon), swapping t-shirts and flip-flops for warm, fuzzy sweaters and boots, starting the fireplace inside, and Starbucks Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate!! Most of all though – fall means it’s time to start preparing for CHRISTMAS!!! Oh yes, I’ve already started! I’m particularly excited about this year’s holiday season! For the first time in the last 5 years, I have the entire week of Christmas off. And now that Josh is working for himself, there is a good possibility that I can spend most of that with him. It will be so nice to make it to Christmas in one piece, with no added stress of baking at 4AM for the next day’s meals. I’ve already started our Christmas shopping and wrapping, I’ve purchased our Christmas cards (thank you Target for putting out your Christmas stuff way earlier than you should) and I’m starting to put together food lists for all of our get-togethers.

I’ve discovered over the years, that when I wait until the last minute to do shopping/wrapping/baking/decorating, I get so stressed out that I forget to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. To do everything last minute also really makes it difficult for the poor people working in retail. I have plenty of friends who, at some point, have worked retail over Christmas, and they hate, hate, hate it. During a time of the year when people should be especially cheerful, they are instead fighting over stupid toys that will be thrown into a toy box and forgotten about in two weeks time.

I’m determined to not be a terrible consumer this year. I’m also determined to make it a priority to help someone else this Christmas. In the past, Josh and I have been guilty of not helping perhaps as much as we should, because we were so busy with last minute preparations. This year, I hope that my advance preparations will give me some time to volunteer at a shelter, or to purchase a few extra toys for a needy family, or even to maybe cook a special dinner for someone who doesn’t have any family around. So if you think about it – it really isn’t too early to start planning. If we all procrastinated a little bit less, just think of how many more people we could bless with our generosity at a time of the year when generosity is too often overlooked!

Try It Tuesday - Mrs.Myers Laundry Detergent

2009-10-13T18:58:00.002-05:00

Ever since Josh and I have been married, we have had quite a dilemma with laundry detergent. You see, my sweet husband has very sensitive skin, and it seems like ALL laundry detergents with any kind of scent irritate his skin. We have tried every version of "Free and Clear" out there, and while they are just as effective, they just haven't been my favorite. Why? Because I love nothing more than smelly laundry soap (picture snuggling up to a warm, fluffy towel that has a lingering scent of lavender...) Of course that towel fantasy of mine has been non-existent - until now. Recently I was in Whole Foods wandering up and down the aisles, and I realized I needed laundry detergent. They happened to have Mrs.Myers on sale, and although there were many heavenly scents (think basil, lemon, lavender), I figured since it was "natural", I would give it a shot, despite Josh's normal reaction to anything smelly.

I. Am. Addicted.

Oh yes. So here's what is so great about it.
-There are about 12 ingredients in each bottle, all of which are completely natural. No harmful chemicals, or dyes, and completely free of ammonia, chlorine or phosphates.
-The scent actually comes from essential oils - so it's not a fake smell. It's fresh, but vague when the clothes are dry. While they are washing, my house smells like heaven.
-They are a very environmentally friendly company and try to use plant derived ingredients any way they can.
-They get our smelly clothes CLEAN! Really, really clean.
-Josh has had NO reaction at all (WOO HOO!)
-They are very inexpensive. Comparable to my previous detergent.

I am confident that if I love the detergent this much, all of their other products are probably great, too! I can't wait to start trying more!

Try It Tuesday - Finding the Blessings

2009-09-29T18:55:00.006-05:00

I’ve decided to start a new series – “Try It Tuesday”. During weeks that I feel motivated, I’ll write about something that I think you should try. It may be a book, or a recipe, or a product, or even a concept. But whatever it is, you can rest assured that Josh and I have both tried it and think it’s awesome enough to write about.

So today, I’d like to challenge you to find the blessings in whatever hardship you are facing in your personal life. This one seems SO very obvious, and doesn’t seem like something that you would even need to be reminded of, right? WRONG. I think that we could all use a little refresher on finding that illusive silver lining.

As most of you know by now, Josh and I have been struggling with infertility for a little over 3 years now. It’s hard to even explain that type of emotional roller coaster with someone who hasn’t been there, but I can tell you that the emotions I’ve personally experienced have been eerily similar to the emotions in the classic model of grief (if you’ve ever taken any type of psychology class, you’ve probably studied it, too) It’s typically used to describe the emotions of someone who has found out he is dying, or someone who has just lost a close someone. That’s why it surprised me, looking back, that I went through all of them in a text book fashion.

The denial phase for me lasted about six months. I totally ignored the fact that the doctor said I would have trouble getting pregnant, and sailed blissfully through each month waiting on a positive test. When it didn’t happen, I hit the anger phase. I was soooo mad at my body for not working right, and often mad at God for not doing anything about it (this is in my time – I’ll touch back on this one in a bit). Then the classic bargaining stage started, and I promised everything I could think of if I could just get pregnant. The depression phase for me was the longest, and it is when I started my original blog. It wasn’t until I hit the acceptance phase, probably six months ago, that everything cleared up, and I began to see a glimmer of the silver lining. The “acceptance” wasn’t that I was infertile, but was a realization that God was in control of my body and my life, and that in His time, not mine, we would conceive. How can I be so sure?

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…” (Psalm 37: 5-7)

I think many people use that verse out of context and think that whatever you want, you should get. But that isn’t the case at all. By delighting yourself in the Lord, you are striving to be more like Him, and ultimately, His desires for you become your desires for you. My entire life I feel like I have had a calling to be a mother. I’ve longed so badly for a child that at certain points I thought my heart would physically break in two. So I believe, wholeheartedly, that I will be a mother. Whether it is through a natural conception, an assisted conception, or adoption, we will complete our family with the addition of children. We stand strong in our belief that God is able to do FAR more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20)

When we originally joined the “infertility club”, I couldn’t see beyond the moment. I was so focused on getting pregnant, that I merely existed. I didn’t appreciate the present, and I floated through the days imagining what life would be like with a baby. Now I can clearly see some resulting blessings that have come from this trial.

Josh’s business – If we had conceived when we originally started trying, Josh wouldn’t have been able to quit the predictability of his Sanford job as soon as he did. In fact, it may have been years down the road. He is now working in his dream job and has unlimited potential for growth. We have been so very thankful for this wonderful opportunity every step of the way!

Time together – We have had so much time to hang out and just be in love. The years that we have spent together have been priceless. We know that life changes when children come. That’s not a bad thing, but long gone are they days of lounging around in our pajamas all day and snuggling up to movies. It’s fun to still be able to do those things now. About a year and a half ago, on a particularly awful day, Josh sent me a text that said, "I wanna have a baby. But I want you to know that I wouldn’t trade the time we have had for anything in the world. You are what makes me complete. A baby is bonus." I love that he adores me more with each passing day.

Godly wisdom – SO many women have provided their prayers and support for us, and have provided insight and wisdom that has proved invaluable. Through this journey, I’ve learned quite a lesson on patience, and I’ve learned through the stories of these women that there is hope, and that no matter how I feel sometimes, we’ve not been forgotten about.

Forgiveness – This is perhaps the most important blessing that has come about recently. Five to six years ago, a situation happened with someone that I loved and trusted very much. My trust in her was completely shattered, my feelings were hurt, and I had a really hard time forgiving her. Over the last five years, I’ve reflected on the things that happened over that year frequently, and every time I thought about it, I could feel myself grow angry. I have often prayed about how to forgive, but just never could. She started struggling with infertility, and I had such a strong desire to share with her some of the wisdom that had been passed along to me – there was finally a common ground! Our friendship has blossomed again, and I’ve discovered a very different woman than the one who originally caused all of my hurt. Just as Josh and I have matured, so has she, but because of the bitterness I was harboring, I never allowed myself to see that until now. I look forward to her e-mails, and we’ve really been able to encourage each other along the way. Last week I thought about all of the things that happened so long ago, and I didn’t grow angry or upset at all. I remembered, but I was unaffected. That’s when I realized I had finally been able to find that forgiveness I have been looking for. A bad situation was definitely used for something good!

So as you can see, even when it feels like your world is over (I’ve felt that way often!!) it’s important to step back, and see the good. So again, on this Tuesday, I would challenge you to do the same. I pinky promise, if you manage to see the blessings, "life" doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.

MIA!!

2009-08-26T17:52:00.004-05:00

So Josh and I have been MIA for an entire month! My apologies - life got in the way! I decided that I could easily handle two condensed summer courses and work, but I didn't anticipate the surgery week. I wasn't feeling good the entire week after surgery, and I was taking pain pills every few hours so I certainly wasn't able to devote 100% to school. Unfortunately, in a summer course one week is ALOT of work. My teachers were super understanding, but it seemed like it was just impossible to get caught up after the break. I was literally up until at least midnight every single night until a couple weeks ago. I'm an eight hour a night gal, so that does not make for a chipper Kristen!

To update you on the knee - all is great! I had my final post op appointment yesterday, and the doctor was very pleased with my progress. I've been in physical therapy every week, and we are finally at the stage where I feel comfortable moving a bit more quickly. I'm not running quite yet, and it's still pretty painful moving up stairs, but the doctor said it would probably be at least another eight weeks before I was completely pain free. Because of all the extra work he had to do, he said this is normal. I thought I would share a couple of battlescars from the surgery.

That's a few days after surgery. The left side of my knee in the picture is where the stitches are. I had two on each side of the big, purple line. So the scars are tiny, only about a half inch for each of them.

THAT IV HURT!

In other news, Josh changed offices with his business. They outgrew their old office, and found a new one that is more than double the size, and a much better location. The guys have really been very blessed as far as business is concerned. They seem to keep growing, growing, growing! It was really a big leap of faith for Josh to quit his full time, predictable job with Sanford and go to his own business - especially since he made almost double my income. Although we had prayed about it, I was still not fond of the idea. I'm glad I didn't fight back too hard, because even though Josh is working more hours, he is so much happier doing his own thing. I'm so proud of the good business decisions that he has made, and so thankful that I have a husband who is both honest and fair in the way he operates a business that represents our family. Thank you Lord for providing!

Surgery Update

2009-07-18T18:01:00.003-05:00

So I had to have knee surgery yesterday. Yeah, no fun at all. About ten years ago I had a sports accident and tore "The Terrible Triad" - my ACL, MCL, and meniscus cartilage. I had to have a full reconstructive surgery then, and I honestly thought that would be the last time that I would have any knee issues. Wrong. Back in December I noticed some pain in my knee, and some locking of it fairly regularly. I had an MRI, and while my ACL/MCL are holding up just fine, I did manage to do some damage to my meniscus again. The doctor thinks that it never really healed from the first operation, and that's why it tore so easily. He described it like a pillowcase. If you just try to tear a pillowcase it is really, really difficult, but if you start off with a small tear, then it doesn't take much effort to pull it apart even further.

I was SO nervous before surgery - kindof giggling uncontrollably (that's typically how I deal with nervousness, haha) After they got me into my gown and got my IV in, they let Josh come and sit with me, which helped me calm down a little. Then Dr.Thomas came in. He could tell I was uneasy, and so he started kindof rubbing my forehead, and then he put his hand over Josh's and said, "Let's pray". I was SO amazed. I didn't expect that at all, but he prayed this marvelous prayer. He asked that God would keep me safe from any complications, and asked that God would guide his hands, and was just very sincere. I heart him. I think I'll definitely be sending a card and maybe some goodies to his office.

So the plan was, that during the surgery he was just going to trim out the cartilage that was torn, and I would be back at work on Monday. No such luck. Once he got in, he realized that I had excessive scar tissue from the original surgery that had pushed my knee cap out of alignment, so he decided to clean all of that out. Because of all the extra work, he told me that he wants me out of work for at least a week, and also that I'll have to do 4-6 weeks of physical therapy. I am NOT excited about that; hopefully this will be the last time I have any issues though. As soon as we got into the car, I just kept saying over and over, "I have to call Beth, I have to call Beth" (Beth is my boss) and I think Josh was trying to talk me out of it because I was still ridiculously groggy from the anethesia, but I called her anyway. I just feel terrible about work. I didn't anticipate missing, and I hate having to leave everyone to do my work with no notice at all, ya know? But I really didn't have much of a choice. In order to miss, I guess I have to call Metlife and file a claim, and I have no idea how that works because I've never had any kind of claim before. This should be fun.

For now, I'm permanantly parked on the couch (sleeping here, too) and stuck in an immobilizer that goes from my ankle to the very top of my leg. I can't take a shower yet, so Josh helped me wash my hair this morning. He's also been doing a marvelous job at feeding me and making sure my knee gets iced every half hour. I'm a pretty lucky gal ;-)

I'm sure I'll be posting some pictures of the knee a little later, maybe even tomorrow. I'll keep everyone updated though, promise.

Introducing...

2009-07-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

Introducing my newest nephew, Michael Aiden Shepherd! He was born July 3rd, weighing 7 pounds, 4 ounces, and 19 1/2 inches long.

He definitely has a family name. My dad is Michael Allen, and when my brother came along they wanted to name him after my dad, but they didn't want a Junior. So along came Michael Adam. Keeping with the "MAS", that is how Aiden got his name. Because there are SO many Michael's in my family, he'll go by Aiden.

This is one of the first pictures I got of him in the nursery. It was taken right after his bath. That's the sweetest bum I've ever seen.

Three generations of Michaels.

Gosh-I still can't believe my little brother beat me :)

Michael and Megan

This is one of my favorites.

Uncle Josh

Our First Pick!

2009-06-09T21:40:00.003-05:00

So tonight we got to pick the first of our veggies! We picked some squash, an onion, and some green beans! It was so very exciting and SO very yummy to eat! Much more fresh than anything I think I've ever eaten. For supper, I sauteed all of the above with a little olive oil, sea salt, and fresh basil from the garden. It was amazing! Makes all the hard work worth it! :)

Things I've Learned About Gardening

2009-06-05T22:24:00.006-05:00

Our first experience with gardening has been much, much different than we anticipated it would be. I never imagined the time commitment it would take. We spend all of our free time outside, weeding, watering, and pruning, then weeding alot more. I also didn't anticipate the bugs. Everywhere - buzzing, crawling, slithering - BLECH! Yeah, I'm not a fan. But even despite the negative, I have completely fallen in love with our vegetables. I have learned so much, so I thought I would share some things I didn't know about gardening, prior to us having one.

1. The images on television that show the beautiful women with big floppy, straw hats, and khaki shorts sitting in a perfect garden - LIE!!! If those women really had been gardening for more than 5 minutes in 90 degree weather at 4:00 in the afternoon, they would have sweat running down the sides of their faces, with dirty shorts, dirty shoes, and frizzy hair.

2. It is impossible to keep a manicure. Impossible. My nails are always dirty, gloves or not.

3. The little old people cushions to kneel on while weeding? INVEST. Sitting on mulch and scooting down an aisle make for a very sore bum. Uncool or not, these cushions are a great idea.

4. Brussel sprouts are a bug favorite...

5. Brussel sprouts should be sprayed before you see the bugs.

6. It is not a good thing when your broccoli grows beautiful yellow flowers. This is very, very bad. I talked about the flowers for a few weeks, and then tried to figure out how in the world broccoli would grown out of that delicate little bloom I loved. That's when we discovered that broccoli actually falls into the sprout category.

7. Everything blooms beautifully. So far, squash is my favorite :o)

8. Herbs are their own bug repellent. Seriously, there are no bugs within three feet of my herb row.

9. Herbs + rain = blissful aromatherapy.

10. Suck it up and weed when it's muddy or raining. This is when it's easiest.

Here are some of the latest garden pictures:
My herbs

Beans

The squash babies with my favorite flowers

Cucumbers

I'm just so excited that we haven't managed to kill off everything. A few things, yes, but not all of it. I can't wait to pick our first veggie!

The Rest of the Vacation

2009-05-24T22:59:00.002-05:00

Naturally, we woke up the third day and my headache was completely gone - finally. The irony? We were leaving the mountains to go down to Denver. But at least it was gone, even if it was bad timing.

So the reason that we chose Denver in the first place was because Josh and Joe had a satellite convention to go to that lasted from Thursday-Saturday. I chose to tag along because I'd never been to Denver before. When I decided to go, we added a couple extra days to enjoy in the mountains. The rest of the vacation was nice, but involved quite a bit of satellite stuff that I knew nothing about. There were a few highlights though. We saw REO Speedwagon in concert. Oh yes. It was amazing, even if they are 100 years old and wrinkled. For a girl who loves some classic rock, this was a phenominal perk of the satellite world! We also got to see Howie Mandell do some stand-up comedy. He was hilarious-but the kind of funny that borders inappropriate so you feel guilty for laughing, even though it really is very, very funny. Haha. And that was it. We enjoyed dinner at some very nice places, went to a Colorodo Rockies game at Coors Field (complete with an ice cream sundae in a baseball cap!), and got to wander around downtown. Whenever we vacation in a city, I am always amazed at the beauty of everything there. The way everything lights up at night, the way you can have a romantic dinner, walk to a chocolate shop, and then take a nice stroll along the sidewalk, the noises-of the buses and people and taxis, the amazing architecture of the buildings...I could go on and on. Being in a city is wonderful, but it's also a reminder of why we choose to live in the country. The concrete just doesn't compare to baby horses in an open field grazing near a big pond, or the smell of freshly cut grass on a hot day. At the end of the week, we were ready to come home. We missed Huckleberry, and our own bed. But we had a blast, and I can't wait to explore another new place next year!!!

Vacation - Tuesday, May 5th

2009-05-12T14:53:00.004-05:00

Dear Headache:

I am afraid that you have overstayed your welcome. I am on vacation, and it is time for you to go.

Much Appreciated!

So yes. This stupid headache will not go away. I woke up 4 times last night with my head feeling like it had been stepped on by an elephant. Thank goodness for whoever invented Tylenol. I hope he got good recognition for that!

Other than the constant headache though, things are going great! I woke up this morning and noticed that Josh was gone, so I wandered outside the cabin and found him sitting by the stream, with a perfect view of the mountains, drinking a hot cup of coffee. I sure could get used to waking up like that every morning!

We decided to go explore after a late breakfast. We all loaded up and headed to the mountains. We were just a couple of minutes from the National Park entrance, so that is the route that we took. When we started at the bottom, it was relatively warm, but it didn't take long before it got cold and started snowing. Even in lieu of the weather, though, we were in and out playing in the snow. I've never, ever seen snow like that in my entire life. It was all so very beautiful!

On the way down, once we got into warm weather again, we decided to split up. Carye and I found a river to hike down, while Joe and Josh decided they would stalk some elk and deer. Apparently the elk was smarter than they were and kept his distance, but they got very close to the deer as you can see.

We also got to see a muskrat. How did we know it was a muskrat you ask? Someone told us of course! We were so excited to see one at all, but before we knew it, another one came out of nowhere and we got to witness a little bit of muskrat love. I captured a picture just for your enjoyment ;)

When we got "home" Josh was exhausted and passed out. I sat in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a good magazine. Ah...the beauty of a relaxing vacation!

Vacation - Monday, May 4th

2009-05-05T09:09:00.008-05:00

Yesterday we flew into Denver, and drove into the mountains to Estes Park, Colorado. We're here with two of our good friends - Joe and Carye. Thanks to my Dramamine induced coma, I missed the good majority of the three hour flight, but Josh tells me it was beautiful! The drive up to our cabin certainly was as well! At one point, we pulled over to take in the sights. We could see the snow covered mountains in the distance and there were these huge, gorgeous bluebirds flying everywhere. It truly was breathtaking. Then I spotted them. CHIPMUNKS! Everywhere. Fat ones, and baby ones, and lazy ones...I have never seen a chipmunk outside of Alvin, and not in real life. They were adorable! Although we weren't in any kind of park, I assume they are used to people pulling over to feed them because when we walked towards the rocks they started running right up to us. We had some trail mix in the car that had peanuts and almonds so we pulled them out and spent the next half hour playing with the little guys. They crawled all over us - into our hands, into our laps. They begged, too. Once they realized we had food they would jump on our legs and stand on their back two feet reaching their little hands up. It was, by far, the coolest thing I've ever done, and honestly, if we had to leave to come home today, I would have been okay after that. :)

When we got into town Josh and I had another first. We saw an elk. Then another, then another. They were everywhere. Kindof like cows in Tennessee-minus the fences! There was even one in someones backyard drinking out of his swimming pool. He had HUGE antlers! I could not get over how many there were in town roaming down next to the street. I guess that's what happens when you build a town in the middle of their home. They own it!

Once we got checked into our cabin, we went out for supper and ate at this hole-in-the-wall BBQ place. We weren't really expecting anything great - but what they served up was phenomenal. I got a BBQ wrap that was stuffed with pulled pork, coleslaw, red beans and rice, and Italian sausage. Josh got beef brisket that was so tender it fell apart when you picked it up. Seriously, this place should be on Food Network.

It was kindof late after supper so we went back to our cabin and all got into the hot tub. It overlooks the mountains and sits right next to a big creek. It was so very peaceful and made for a good first day.

The only negative about the trip so far is the altitude adjustment. We found out after we were here that we probably should have spent the first night in Denver to adjust. Instead, since we drove up into the mountains, my head has felt like it is going to explode. Tylenol has been my best friend. The locals tell us it takes a couple of days to adjust, so hopefully the headache will go away soon.

Here are some pictures from Day 1 in Colorado:

The chipmunks!

Plant Babies!

2009-04-30T13:50:00.002-05:00

So this year Josh and I decided to start a vegetable garden. The decision came about because of a program that we were enrolled in last year with a local farmer. We signed up in April for a program that lasted 26 weeks, that allowed us to go pick up organic fruits/vegetables/herbs from a local farm. It was fabulous and we got SO much stuff! The only negative about the program was that they chose what to grow - so some of the stuff we didn't like or didn't know what to do with. And then other stuff we just got excessive amounts of - like squash and potatoes. So we decided that it would be better if we started a garden based on what we liked, and grew only the amount that we needed. "Farmer Josh" (as I have affectionately started calling him...) read all about gardening, and came up with a plan. Since we wanted to keep it organic, we used a method called companion planting. It groups together certain kinds of plants that limit the amounts of bugs and diseases. So for example, there is a certain bug that likes bean plants, but doesn't like onions, so we grouped the two together. We have also found a "recipe" for an organic bug spray that uses household items. Surprisingly, some of the bug sprays that claim to be organic are not organic at all.

I have to admit, I have always had a black thumb. I can glance in the direction of a beautiful plant and literally watch it wilt. Not good for someone who wants to grow a garden... Because of that, I have babied the garden more than I've babied anything else. Ever. And guess what?! IT'S GROWN! Oh yes, we have beautiful plants that seem to grow bigger with each passing day. I don't think that I've been involved in anything more satisfying than watching a seed I planted grow into a beautiful vegetable. It's a truly amazing experience - one that I had no idea I would enjoy so much. Each day as soon as I get home, I head back to the garden (in dress clothes and heels) and wander up and down the rows admiring our plant babies.

We also started a compost pile (because, let's face it, Tennessee dirt just sucks) and although that is quite gross, it's pretty cool, too. Josh built a compost bin and we put it in the back yard directly on the ground (hopefully to attract some hungry worms...) and have been consistently filling it with eggs shells, vegetable and fruit scraps, and other random stuff that we can compost. So far so good! We're hoping to be able to till it all into the ground this fall, that way we'll have much better dirt next year.

So I'm sure you will get PLENTY of garden pictures over the summer, but I'll go ahead and start you out with some now.

The compost bin

Baby Broccoli

My herb garden (basil, thyme, rosemary, oregano, cilantro, and dill)

Welcome!

2009-04-27T11:04:00.007-05:00

Welcome to the Lynch family blog! Think of this as a family newsletter - but one that is updated often and that you can comment on. We are SO excited to be updating you with info on vacations, projects, and family news in general. We hope that you will find this as exciting to read, as we find to write. Feel free to leave us comments - you have the ability to do so even if you don't have a blog of your own.

Kristen: Most of the site will be written and maintained by me - so in the event that Josh decides to write to everyone, I'll have him let you know in the post! Otherwise, you can expect for me to be your all-knowing, all-informing author! :)

ENJOY!